Not my opinion

I made chili for dinner, but committed the great sin of adding kidney beans. When I asked my daughter what kind of beans she wanted she said "I don't know, just beans!" Apparently kidney beans are not beans. I'm sure they'll be disappointed to discover that.

I ate my bowl of chili and said "MMMMM, you're really missing something. This chili is good!"

She responds "That is a part of an opinion."

Me "A PART of an opinion?"

Her "Yeah, your part, not my part."

Couch Bugs

When I was visiting my brother my daughter wanted to sleep on his sofa. My young nephews adored her and wouldn't leave her alone so she could sleep. She picked up her youngest cousin and carried him over to me.

"Apparently couch bugs are bigger than bed bugs."

I asked him "Do couch bugs bite?"

He responded "No, but they fart a lot."

Oh, wrong bug, what you have here is a stink bug.

Men in skirts?

My son to his sister "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Because I couldn't find any pants."

"Wow, men don't have that option."

Cousin responds "Why are you in your underwear? Because I couldn't find any pants. No, I don't think that would go over very well."

New moon

When my daughters were five and three I overheard this lesson in the backseat as I drove home one evening.

See the moon out there? It is a big circle right now, but every day it will get smaller and smaller until it is gone completely. That is when God is fixing it.

I am a nun

My kids' school was finished on June 10th and we left on vacation on June 12th. We returned on June 20th and she is ALREADY bored! Not being able to think of anything to do my daughter decided to take a bath. After she had finished with her bath, she draped her towel over her head and said "I am a nun. Which means I have none things to do."

responsibility

My 12 year old daughter is working really hard to be more responsible. Tonight she was brushing her teeth, flossing and using a fluoride rinse, something that I usually have to badger her about. After she was done she said "Darn, I hate being responsible. I forgot to eat dessert!"

Arguing

I'm fascinated by the compulsive need that kids have to argue. I could make a simple statement like "the sky is blue" and they'd feel the need to argue against that until I begin to doubt their sanity. (you thought I was going to say that I doubted my own sanity, didn't you?) Last night was no exception, and in exasperation I asked "Do I have 'argue with me' tattooed on my forehead?" My son quips "No, I think it is on your back."